I'm taking a course this semester on the Black Family. So far, I find it very interesting. One of the characteristics that the Black Family has been criticized for by some Sociologists, Policy makers, etc. is for not being patriarchal. It has been called matriarchal by some but in fact, the Black Family, in general is matrifocal. This means, that generally, women play a central role in black families but they don't actually control families. In patriarchies, control of the family comes from men and in matriarchies, control comes from women.
Considering that the Black family has often been, I think unfairly, criticized for not having the same norms as white middle class families, I began to wonder if some black male convert to Islam, partly and subconsciously, to create but not necessarily imitate, the patriarchal norm of white middle class families. I use the white middle class family because historically, the white middle class family has been considered "mainstream" and the "norm" in the study of the family. Before I go further, I want to say that not all white families are patriarchal. I am speaking in normative terms in this post.
Among black Sunnis, I think this is also true since the Sunnah and immigrant Muslims all advocate the patriarchal family as the true Islamic family. Men are "the protectors and maintainers" of the family. I think this ideal might be particularly appealing to black men who have been criticized for not living up to the ideal of men as protectors of the family and the head of households. Islam, as it has been presented to them, gives them the ideological framework to move away from the matrifocal family model and into the patriarchal family model that is prevalent among other Muslim communities and among American society.
If this is true, then I also wonder how black men, especially those from a low socioeconomic background, are able to adjust. Some seem to adjust well but there are others who seem not to be able to adjust at all. I am referring to men who want to be the head of the household but may have behaviors that do not allow this to occur. For instance, praying all day in the masjid, going on jamaat while not leaving adequete resources to take care of his family, insisting that his wife not work outside the home despite not having enough income to take care of the basic needs of his family (food, clothing, bills, etc.). These men may want the patriarchal norm of the man as the maintainer of the family and the decision maker of the family with the wife staying at home. Yet, they cannot achieve this ideal. Does the patriarchal family model actually help this situation or make it worse? I honestly don't know the answer to this question. This isn't my area of expertise and I don't want to give an uninformed answer. It primarily a question that is now floating around in my head. I'm curious about the thoughts of others on this issue.
Considering that the Black family has often been, I think unfairly, criticized for not having the same norms as white middle class families, I began to wonder if some black male convert to Islam, partly and subconsciously, to create but not necessarily imitate, the patriarchal norm of white middle class families. I use the white middle class family because historically, the white middle class family has been considered "mainstream" and the "norm" in the study of the family. Before I go further, I want to say that not all white families are patriarchal. I am speaking in normative terms in this post.
Among black Sunnis, I think this is also true since the Sunnah and immigrant Muslims all advocate the patriarchal family as the true Islamic family. Men are "the protectors and maintainers" of the family. I think this ideal might be particularly appealing to black men who have been criticized for not living up to the ideal of men as protectors of the family and the head of households. Islam, as it has been presented to them, gives them the ideological framework to move away from the matrifocal family model and into the patriarchal family model that is prevalent among other Muslim communities and among American society.
If this is true, then I also wonder how black men, especially those from a low socioeconomic background, are able to adjust. Some seem to adjust well but there are others who seem not to be able to adjust at all. I am referring to men who want to be the head of the household but may have behaviors that do not allow this to occur. For instance, praying all day in the masjid, going on jamaat while not leaving adequete resources to take care of his family, insisting that his wife not work outside the home despite not having enough income to take care of the basic needs of his family (food, clothing, bills, etc.). These men may want the patriarchal norm of the man as the maintainer of the family and the decision maker of the family with the wife staying at home. Yet, they cannot achieve this ideal. Does the patriarchal family model actually help this situation or make it worse? I honestly don't know the answer to this question. This isn't my area of expertise and I don't want to give an uninformed answer. It primarily a question that is now floating around in my head. I'm curious about the thoughts of others on this issue.
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Salaam sister,
My wife has done a lot of work in this area. She is a family therapist and has dealt with many issues. We are currently working on a book together detailing some of the highs and lows of black marriages with some specific details on Blackamerican Muslims. One of the biggest issues we have heard over the years deals with the concept of 'the Sunnah as patriarchal' and the reconciliation of a 'foreign-minded' world-view and interpretation that renders a modern black woman fruitless. One of the constant ideas I have to wrap my head around for her and myself is, if Blackamerican Muslim men are going to appropriate the 'maintainer' verse then how do we do so in changing times? Most of the Black women coming into Islam don't possess homemaker skills and young brothers haven't held down good, steady jobs nor do they understand economics. Hell, my wife has met couples who didn't even know what a credit score detailed, partly because of lack of education earlier in life and because of 'false religious universals' later in life.